Situation

Before Reading: I'm not depressed, not on any sort of drug, not thinking about killing, cutting or applying any hurt to myself..I just had some time to think to myself.

So this is my situation at the moment, sorta. Just got back from Gilroy because it seems that my mom felt that we had to go visit our cousins and uncle, again. Don't get me wrong I love my family or at least the little that I know its just that we both grew up in completely different situations and well to me its not fair how my mom tells me that I need to start behaving my age. Which always gets me mad because I don't do anything. I've never really committed a crime in my life I haven't even gotten a light rail ticket! Not even petty theft. I'm pretty much a good kid, sorta. I've done somethings I'm not proud in front of some old friends as well as new ones but everyone will eventually do my do's. But, its just that my mom really has nothing to put against me, like she'll start telling me how I should start applying for a job and help her with the bills. I'M NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO GET A JOB!! If I was old enough I probably would have done it already. You really don't know how badly I want to work. But anyways back to my trip to Gilroy. I get there and its not even 20 minutes into my visit when my cousin starts talking to me about how she heard from her mom that I was starting to go out like my older brothers and thats when I pretty much ignored everything she had to say to me. Only because I get annoyed how everyone in my family thinks because I'm not getting straight A's in school I'm a bad kid. They pretty much ignore the whole "I'm suppa good at sports" and "I draw very well." Like that can't some how help me in life?

She told me how she use to do that and it wasn't a good idea and I should try and do other productive things with me friends. Not really sure what else she said but its whatevs I know she cares enough about me to try and give me advice, only thing is its not the right time to be giving me that kinds of advice. Another thing, are my brothers, I "love" to death but they can just be to much sometimes. There all older than me and can pretty much just punk me around as they please I don't have the strength to fight back so I just have to take the blows. They can be really f@cked up at times especially when I ask them to do something for me but when its about them they expect me to be at there hand and foot. Pshh..they can pretty much go suck on a pickle. 

I guess my new plan for now until March is to find a job pretty much anywhere I at least earn more than 7$ I really don't care where as long as I can have my weekends back. I use to only have to work with my mom at her restaurant on Saturdays and have my Sunday free, but now my oldest brother convinced her to open on Sundays which is stupid because he doesn't even go and help her out plus business is really slow. I hate my situation right now and I can honestly say what takes my mind off this is pretty much muhh Skittle. It's been I think a year since the first time I sent her a message on myspace. And I guess, I just decided that what I feel towards my skittle is pretty much just "lust" I see no bright future for me and her. Although, I do still want her to be my coolio friend. She pretty much makes me smile every time I see her cute little face. Don't miss understand me now, if she does for some strange reason wants to try something out between us I have no problem with that. Its just that I'm kinda sorta in a weird way done with it. I feel bad for everything I've done to her... making her wait for 4 months... other shiiiitttt and anything else I did to hurt her. v__V

Oh back to the "job finding thing" I herd from a friend that they might be hiring at a Goodwill by where I live. Which hopefully I'll be able to check out on the day we come back from our break. I really would like to save up to buy a bicycle. I think that's the solution to my many dilemmas in my life up to this point. I mean if I had a bicycle right now I wouldn't have to ride the light rail back and forth to school and could save me a lot of money, as well I could have something to take my mind off these situations. I could go far distances and start getting a work out for this upcoming Track & Field season. 24 MORE DAY UNTIL SOCCER'S OVER!! I'm really excited. I know for a fact I'm not doing it next year, its a nice sport. But I just don't have the talent to compete with the other kids. I have the speed but that's pretty much it. I thank it though, for keeping me busy until Track & Field starts again. And, it improved the little skills I had. I will never forget the many memories it has giving me.

^___^